Talking to school-age children about sex

Sex education doesn't need to be a single tell-all discussion. Follow your children's cues about what they need to know — and when.

Sex education often begins as simple anatomy lessons during the toddler years. During the school-age years, you might wonder how much your children really need to know about sex. Never fear. Sex education doesn't need to be a single tell-all discussion. Instead, follow your children's cues about what they need to know — and when.
Expect detailed questions

Younger children are often satisfied with vague answers to questions about where babies come from or how babies are born. But school-age children tend to make stronger connections between sexuality and making babies. As their questions about sex become more complex — and perhaps more embarrassing — they may turn to friends or other sources for information.

When your school-age children ask questions about sex, you might want to first ask your children what they already know. Correct any misconceptions, and then offer enough details to answer the specific questions. Avoid long lectures.

Consider these examples:

• What's an erection? You might say: "A boy's penis is usually soft. But sometimes it gets hard and stands away from the body. This is called an erection." Describe how an erection can happen while a boy is sleeping or when his penis is touched. This might also be the time to describe a wet dream.


• What's a period? You might say: "A period means that a girl's body is mature enough to become pregnant." Explain how menstruation is an important part of the reproductive cycle. You might offer details on bleeding and feminine hygiene products.


• How do people have sex? If your children wonder about the mechanics of sex, be honest. You might say: "The man puts his penis inside the woman's vagina."


• Can two girls have sex? Or two boys? For some children, it might be enough to say: "Yes. There are many types of intimate relationships." If your children want to know more, you might take the opportunity to talk about respect for others or to share your personal thoughts about homosexuality.


• What's masturbation? You might say: "Masturbation is when a boy rubs his penis or a girl rubs her vagina." Remind your children that masturbation is a normal — but private — activity.

Even if you're uncomfortable, forge ahead. Remember, you're setting the stage for open, honest discussions in the years to come.
Preteen angst

Between ages 8 and 12, children may worry whether they're "normal." Penis size and breast size often figure heavily in these worries. Explain what happens during puberty for both boys and girls. Offer reassurance that children of the same age mature at wildly different rates. Puberty might begin years earlier — or later — for some children, but eventually everyone catches up. You might want to share experiences from your own development, particularly if you once had the same concerns that your children have now.
Everyday moments are key

You might have been using everyday opportunities to discuss sex all along. Keep it up! Teachable moments are everywhere. If there's a pregnancy in the family, talk about how a baby develops inside a woman's body. If you see a commercial for a feminine hygiene product, use it as a springboard to talk about periods. If a couple on a favorite TV show begins dating, talk about relationships and falling in love.

Take your role in sex education seriously. Encourage your children to take care of their bodies, respect themselves and seek information from trusted sources. Your thoughtful approach to sex education can help your children develop a lifetime of healthy sexuality.

original link :http://www.mayoclinic.com/