A Guy's Guide to Body Image

Al's friend Rachel invited him to go to the lake for the day with her family. Rachel thought Al was fun to be around — plus he was cute. Rachel really hoped he'd say yes.
Al turned Rachel down. He liked Rachel, too, but was self-conscious about taking off his T-shirt. He worried that her family and others at the lake would see what he saw when he looked in the mirror — a scrawny excuse for a man. Al hadn't gone to the pool in more than a year because he was so self-conscious about his appearance.
The Truth About Guys
Many people think of guys as being carefree when it comes to their appearance. But the reality is that a lot of guys spend plenty of time in front of the mirror. It's a fact — some guys care just as much as girls do about their appearance.
You may hear a lot about being a tough guy, but how often do you hear that being a guy is tough? Guys might think that they shouldn't worry about how they look, but body image can be a real problem for them. Unlike girls, guys are less likely to talk to friends and relatives about their bodies and how they're developing. Without support from friends and family, they may develop a negative self-image. The good news is that self-image and body image can be changed.
Why Is Body Image Important?
Body image is a person's opinions, thoughts, and feelings about his or her own body and physical appearance. Having a positive body image means feeling pretty satisfied with the way you look, appreciating your body for its capabilities and accepting its imperfections. Body image is part of someone's total self-image. So how a guy feels about his body can affect how he feels about himself. If he gets too focused on not liking the way he looks, a guy's self-esteem can take a hit and his confidence can slide. (The same thing can happen to girls, too.)
How Puberty Affects Body Image

Although body image is just one part of our self-image, during the teen years, and especially during puberty, it can be easy for a guy's whole self-image to be based on how his body looks. That's because our bodies are changing so much during this time that they can become the main focus of our attention.
A change in your body can be tough to deal with emotionally — mainly because, well, your body is yours and you have become used to it.
Some guys don't feel comfortable in their changing bodies and can feel as if they don't know who they are anymore. Being the only guy whose voice is changing or who's growing body hair (or the only guy who isn't) can also make some guys feel self-conscious for a while.
Some guys go into puberty not feeling too satisfied with their body or appearance to begin with. They may have wrestled with body image even before puberty started (for example, battles with weight or dissatisfaction with height). For them, puberty may add to their insecurities.
It Could Be in Your Genes
It can be tough to balance what you expect to happen to your body with what actually does happen. Lots of guys can have high expectations for puberty, thinking they'll develop quickly or in a certain way.
The best way to approach your own growth and development is to not assume you'll be a certain way. Look at everyone in your family — uncles, grandfathers, and even female relatives — to get an idea of the kinds of options your genes may have in store for you.
When Everyone Else Seems Bigger
Not everyone's body changes at the same time or even at the same pace. It can be tough if all of your friends have already matured physically and are taller and more muscular. Most guys eventually catch up in terms of growth, although some will always be taller or more muscular than others — it's in their genes.
It's natural to observe friends and classmates and notice the different ways they're growing and developing. Guys often compare themselves with other guys in certain settings, and one of the most common is the locker room. Whether at a local gym or getting ready for a game at school, time in the locker room can be daunting for any guy.
Try to keep in mind in these situations that you aren't alone if you feel you don't "measure up." Many guys feel exactly the same way about their own bodies — even those whose physiques you envy. Just knowing that almost everyone else will go through the same thing can make all the difference.
You could try talking to a trusted male adult — maybe a coach, a doctor, a teacher, or your dad. Chances are they went through similar experiences and had some of the same feelings and apprehensions when their bodies were changing.
Picture Perfect?
Guys put enough pressure on themselves, but what about the pressure society puts on them to be perfect?
It used to be that only girls felt the pressure of picture-perfect images, but these days the media emphasis on men's looks creates a sense of pressure for guys, too. And sometimes (actually many times) that "as advertised" body is just not attainable. The men you see in those pictures may not even be real. Magazines and ad agencies often alter photographs of models, either by airbrushing the facial and muscular features, or by putting a good-looking face on someone else's buff body.
Building a Better Body Image
So in the face of all the pressure society places on guys — and guys place on themselves — what can you do to fuel a positive body image? Here are some ideas:
Recognize your strengths. Different physical attributes and body types are good for different things — and sometimes the things you did well as a kid can change during puberty. What does your body do well? Maybe your speed, flexibility, strength, or coordination leads you to excel at a certain sport. Or perhaps you have non-sports skills, like drawing, painting, singing, playing a musical instrument, writing, or acting. Just exploring talents that you feel good about can help your self-esteem and how you think of yourself.
A good body doesn't always translate into athletic success. Too often, the way guys see their body image is closely associated with their performance on a sports field or in the gym. The upside to this is that if you're good at a team sport, you might have a pretty good view of your body. But what if you don't like team sports or you got cut from a team you really wanted to make? In these cases, it helps to look at individual accomplishments.
If you don't like team sports, that's OK. Try finding another form of physical activity that really gets you going. Depending on your interests and where you live, that may be mountain biking, rock climbing, dancing, yoga, or even jogging. This will help you stay in shape and help you to appreciate skills may not have realized you had in a team environment.
If you like team sports but didn't make a particular team, don't let it get you down. Use this as an opportunity to discover what you're good at, not to lament what you aren't best at. Maybe try out for another team — so soccer wasn't for you, but maybe cross-country running will be.
If none of these appeal to you, continue to practice the sport you were cut from and try again next year. The people around you probably won't remember that you didn't make the team — not being picked was a much bigger deal to you than it was to them.
Look into starting a strength training program. Exercise can help you look good and feel good about yourself. Good physiques don't just happen — they take hard work, regular workouts, and a healthy diet. There's no need to work out obsessively. A healthy routine can be as simple as exercising 20 minutes to 1 hour three days a week. Another benefit to working out properly is that it can boost your mood — lifting weights can lift your spirits.
Don't trash your body, respect it! To help improve your view of your body, take care of it. Smoking and other things you know to be harmful will take a toll after a while. Treating yourself well over time results in a healthier, stronger body — and that contributes to a better body image. Practicing good grooming habits — regular showering; taking care of your teeth, hair, and skin; wearing clean clothes, etc. — also can help you build a positive body image.
Be yourself. Your body is just one part of who you are — along with your talent for comedy, a quick wit, or all the other things that make you unique. Your talents, skills, and beliefs are just as much a part of you as the casing they come in. So try not to let minor imperfections take over.
While it's important to have a positive body image, getting too focused on body image and appearance can cause a guy to overlook the other positive parts of himself. If you're like most guys who take care of their bodies and wear clothes that look good, you probably look great to others. You just might not be aware of that if you're too busy being self-critical.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: November 2006

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All About Menstruation

Menstruation (a period) is a major stage of puberty in girls; it's one of the many physical signs that a girl is turning into a woman. And like a lot of the other changes associated with puberty, menstruation can be confusing. Some girls can't wait to start their periods, whereas others may feel afraid or anxious. Many girls (and guys!) don't have a complete understanding of a woman's reproductive system or what actually happens during the menstrual cycle, making the process seem even more mysterious.
Puberty and Periods
When girls begin to go through puberty (usually starting between the ages of 8 and 13), their bodies and minds change in many ways. The hormones in their bodies stimulate new physical development, such as growth and breast development. About 2 to 2½ years after a girl's breasts begin to develop, she usually gets her first menstrual period.
About 6 months or so before getting her first period, a girl might notice an increased amount of clear vaginal discharge. This discharge is common. There's no need for a girl to worry about discharge unless it has a strong odor or causes itchiness.

Baby girls are born with ovaries, fallopian tubes, and a uterus. The two ovaries are oval-shaped and sit on either side of the uterus (womb) in the lowest part of the abdomen called the pelvis. They contain thousands of eggs, or ova. The two fallopian tubes are long and thin. Each fallopian tube stretches from an ovary to the uterus, a pear-shaped organ that sits in the middle of the pelvis. The muscles in a female's uterus are powerful and are able to expand to allow the uterus to accommodate a growing fetus and then help push the baby out during labor.
As a girl matures and enters puberty, the pituitary gland releases hormones that stimulate the ovaries to produce other hormones called estrogen and progesterone. These hormones have many effects on a girl's body, including physical maturation, growth, and emotions.
About once a month, a tiny egg leaves one of the ovaries — a process called ovulation — and travels down one of the fallopian tubes toward the uterus. In the days before ovulation, the hormone estrogen stimulates the uterus to build up its lining with extra blood and tissue, making the walls of the uterus thick and cushioned. This happens to prepare the uterus for pregnancy: If the egg is fertilized by a sperm cell, it travels to the uterus and attaches to the cushiony wall of the uterus, where it slowly develops into a baby.
If the egg isn't fertilized, though — which is the case during most of a woman's monthly cycles — it doesn't attach to the wall of the uterus. When this happens, the uterus sheds the extra tissue lining. The blood, tissue, and unfertilized egg leave the uterus, going through the vagina on the way out of the body. This is a menstrual period. This cycle happens almost every month for several more decades (except, of course, when a female is pregnant) until a woman reaches menopause and no longer releases eggs from her ovaries.
How Often Does a Girl Get Her Period?
Just as some girls begin puberty earlier or later than others, the same applies to periods. Some girls may start menstruating as early as age 10, but others may not get their first period until they are 15 years old.
The amount of time between a girl's periods is called her menstrual cycle (the cycle is counted from the start of one period to the start of the next). Some girls will find that their menstrual cycle lasts 28 days, whereas others might have a 24-day cycle, a 30-day cycle, or even longer. Following menarche, menstrual cycles last 21–45 days. After a couple of years, cycles shorten to an adult length of 21–34 days.
Irregular periods are common in girls who are just beginning to menstruate. It may take the body a while to sort out all the changes going on, so a girl may have a 28-day cycle for 2 months, then miss a month, for example. Usually, after a year or two, the menstrual cycle will become more regular. Some women continue to have irregular periods into adulthood, though.
As a girl gets older and her periods settle down — or she gets more used to her own unique cycle — she will probably find that she can predict when her period will come. In the meantime, it's a good idea to keep track of your menstrual cycle with a calendar.
How Long and How Much?
The amount of time that a girl has her period also can vary. Some girls have periods that last just 2 or 3 days. Other girls may have periods that last 7 days or longer. The menstrual flow — meaning how much blood comes out of the vagina — can vary widely from girl to girl, too.
Some girls may be concerned that they're losing too much blood. It can be a shock to see all that blood, but it's unlikely that a girl will lose too much, unless she has a medical condition like von Willebrand disease. Though it may look like a lot, the average amount of blood is only about 2 tablespoons (30 milliliters) for an entire period. Most teens will change pads 3 to 6 times a day, with more frequent changes when their period is heaviest, usually at the start of the period.
Especially when menstrual periods are new, you may be worried about your blood flow or whether your period is normal in other ways. Talk to a doctor or nurse if:

* your period lasts longer than a week
* you have to change your pad very often (soaking more than one pad every 1–2 hours)
* you go longer than 3 months between periods
* you have bleeding in between periods
* you have an unusual amount of pain before or during your period
* your periods were regular then became irregular

Cramps, PMS, and Pimples
Some girls may notice physical or emotional changes around the time of their periods. Menstrual cramps are pretty common — in fact, more than half of all women who menstruate say they have cramps during the first few days of their periods. Doctors think that cramps are caused by prostaglandin, a chemical that causes the muscles of the uterus to contract.
Depending on the girl, menstrual cramps can be dull and achy or sharp and intense, and they can sometimes be felt in the back as well as the abdomen. These cramps often become less uncomfortable and sometimes even disappear completely as a girl gets older.
Many girls and women find that over-the-counter pain medications (like acetaminophen or ibuprofen) can relieve cramps, as can taking a warm bath or applying a warm heating pad to the lower abdomen. Exercising regularly throughout the monthly cycle may help lessen cramps, too. If these things don't help, ask your doctor for advice.
Some girls and women find that they feel sad or easily irritated during the few days or week before their periods. Others may get angry more quickly than normal or cry more than usual. Some girls crave certain foods. These types of emotional changes may be the result of premenstrual syndrome (PMS).
PMS is related to changes in the body's hormones. As hormone levels rise and fall during a woman's menstrual cycle, they can affect the way she feels, both emotionally and physically. Some girls, in addition to feeling more intense emotions than they usually do, notice physical changes along with their periods — some feel bloated or puffy because of water retention, others notice swollen and sore breasts, and some get headaches.
PMS usually goes away soon after a period begins, but it can come back month after month. Eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising may help relieve some of the symptoms of PMS. Talk to your doctor if you are concerned about your premenstrual symptoms.
It's also not uncommon for girls to have an acne flare-up during certain times of their cycle; again, this is due to hormones. Fortunately, the pimples associated with periods tend to become less of a problem as girls get older.
Pads, Tampons, and Liners
Once you begin menstruating, you'll need to use something to absorb the blood. Most girls use a pad or a tampon. But some use menstrual cups, which a girl inserts into her vagina to catch and hold the blood (instead of absorbing it, like a tampon).
There are so many products out there that it may take some experimenting before you find the one that works best for you. Some girls use only pads (particularly when they first start menstruating), some use only tampons, and some switch around — tampons during the day and pads at night, for example.
Girls who worry about leakage from a tampon often use a pantiliner, too, and some girls use liners alone on very light days of their periods.
Periods shouldn't get in the way of exercising, having fun, and enjoying life. Girls who are very active, particularly those who enjoy swimming, often find that tampons are the best option during sports.
If you have questions about pads, tampons, or coping with periods, ask a parent, health teacher, school nurse, or older sister.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
Date reviewed: May 2007
Originally reviewed by: Neil Izenberg, MD

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